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Justin (Am)Bieber – U Smile (800% Slower)

November 23, 2010

Justin (Am)Bieber – U Smile (800% Slower, by Shamantis) [Unreleased]


OKokokokok, Welcome to our blog. Ourselves. Before I go any further, please click “play” on the soundcloud link below, and give this tune a listen, at least for the amount of time you are reading this review.

This blog has been set up, mainly for ourselves, the authors, as a way of recommending, and sharing our thoughts on, our favourite musical masterpieces from across the ages with friends and strangers alike.

I’ll start the ball rolling with what may at first seem like a toungue in cheek review of this 30-minute ambient “remix” of a Bieber song. But I can assure you, I really do like this. And also it’s not really a review, just a recommendation.

I presume you are all aware of the raw talent that is Bieber. At just 16, this young Canadian twat (oops… that just slipped out) is responsible for bringing every female under the sun to their knees, sobbing for his babies, with such chart-busters as “Baby” and “U Smile” (which is the tune “sampled” here). But, the truth be told (and I’m fairly sure that this is the truth), his songs are rubbish. Absolute crap. Don’t listen to them! Or do.. to be fair they aren’t bad for a 16-year old mop-headed idiot. But that’s beside the point.

This brings me to the current piece you are listening to now. Some smart alec (“Shamantis“) slowed down the song “U Smile” to 1/9th (yeah, 800% sounds better) of it’s original length, using a technique called Time Stretching, which slows down the song whilst keeping the pitch as close to the original as possible (it’s pretty damn simple – tutorial here). I think you’ll agree that the result is fantastic – for me, this is up there with any ambient classic by Eno, Glass, Reich or whoever your favourite ambient musician is. I shall refrain from disecting this song since really, it is just a song, time stretched. There’s no other editing. But I really enjoy this, and apparently millions of others do too.

The only question that remains is why one would ever choose to slow down a Justin (Regular)Bieber song in the first place? This will forever be a mystery.. like Stonehenge, or girls. I’ll leave you with my favourite comment from the soundcloud forum where this song first appeared…

“If there is beauty in this.. then maybe there truly is beauty in everything?”

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